Ten Reasons My Life is Great Anyway
My view as I write this.
There are two girls sitting near the window across the coffee shop from me having the most adorable conversation. So far, I’ve gleaned that at least one of them is probably a music student, and most likely at the same college I went to when I took music. If that weren’t enough to make me like them, the music student just said, “I made a list of why my life is great. It makes me so happy.” Then she went ahead and read the list, and I can’t help it if I overheard such wonderful things as friends, books, Taylor Swift, rock concerts, and long-distance phone calls.
I feel like I need to make a list like that right now. Because last Wednesday night, my dad went into the hospital with a severe condition that will not be resolved quickly even after the hospital stage is past. (And it looks likely we’ll get past the hospital stage, but a regression today has me pretty disheartened.)
After a flurry of activity on Thursday morning to make sure I had what I needed to take with me and that my family would function well in my absence, I drove the six and a half hours to the Red Deer Hospital. I got in at eleven p.m. and met my uncle there. They were just transferring Dad from Emergency to ICU. I didn’t get to see him until one a.m., but he was heavily sedated by then. By the time I got out to his place (he lives out of town) and got to sleep, it was four a.m.
That was the beginning of what has been a very long five days and counting.
In general, he’s been getting better each day. Then, today, he was worse again. And I think all the stress and adrenaline is finally catching up to me, because it hit me pretty hard.
Everyone keeps telling me to take care of myself, too, so today I decided it was primetime to take that advice. Instead of watching my dad in his fitful sleep and trying to hold back tears, I left the hospital. After a good cry, I made my way to the local Chapters store, wandered around and looked at beautiful books, and finally bought a cookbook for men who have no idea how to cook. (I mean, not that I think Dad wants to learn, but if he has a book to teach him how, he might try, right? I can dream.) Then I bought myself a café mocha and a snack and decided it was time to write.
Writing is, and always has been, one of my best forms of self-care.
So, after all that, here’s my list of why my life is (still) great:
A flexible job that allows me to be here for my dad during his time of need.
A super-capable husband and awesome kids whom I don’t have to worry about while I’m gone. (I mean, I still will, it’s just optional. They’ll be fine without me.)
A huge extended family who have all been amazingly supportive and helpful during this time. People have sent encouraging texts, offered places to stay, food, and let’s not forget the uncle who made sure my dad got to the hospital in the first place. I mean, I could be writing a very different post right now, so I’m thankful it’s this instead of that.
Friends who have also been supporting me through encouraging texts when I need them.
A visit from my honey for a day on the weekend, and the help he gave during that time.
Two sweet, optimistic girls sitting at the exact table I used to sit at with my own college girlfriends on occasion, chattering about school and friends and things that make their life great and reminding me that no matter how stressful things get, life goes on.
A spring snowstorm that’s covering up the dull brown of early spring, just temporarily, with a layer of sticky white. It’s making driving difficult, but there is still beauty in difficult things. Because there is beauty everywhere.
The chance to connect to Wi-Fi for the first time in five days. :-)
Knowing I am not alone. Not only am I surrounded by the love of family and friends, but God has shown his hand in this several times, right when I needed it.
And books and coffee and Taylor Swift. Seems like my unaware muse and I have more than the music program in common. :-)
When my life is difficult and uncertain, my blog always tends to get more of a workout, so I expect this won’t be my last post about this. Especially since I have a lot of alone time on my hands right now.
But not much Wi-Fi, so this could go either way. :-)
However, even without Wi-Fi, my life is still pretty great anyway.
Okay, here’s hoping he’s doing better when I get back. And I send this wish to you: whatever situation you find yourself in today, friend, may you find grace in unexpected places and beauty in broken things.
All my love.
A tired but refreshed me right now.
