Why the Swan Princess Beats Swan Lake

Everything might be beautiful at the ballet, but we’d rather hear the song about it.

Photo by Kazuo ota on Unsplash.

My husband recently surprised me with a romantic getaway to Edmonton, along with tickets to the ballet Swan Lake, performed by the Moscow Ballet. He really scored on the seats—we were only fifteen rows back, in almost the dead-centre of the hall, so we could practically see the dancers’ pimples beneath their make-up. But even though it was awesome to check “attend a ballet” off my bucket list, we decided that we probably won’t do it again.* Here’s why.

TL;DR: There wasn’t enough singing along with all that dancing—no matter how beautiful and well-controlled the dancing might be.

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A lust story, not a love story

Check out this paragraph in the synopsis:

“Siegfried enters a clearing near the lake. Through the trees he sees the beautiful Swan Queen Odette. He immediately falls in love with her. She is terrified by his presence, but he assures her that he will never shoot her and pledges his undying love. As dawn approaches, the swans are compelled to return to the lake. Von Rothbart appears and beckons to Odette. She is helpless and must obey. Siegfried is unable to stop her from leaving and is left alone in despair.”

Um… they call that love nowadays, eh? I beg to differ. But, then again, though I’ve always questioned love-at-first-sight stories, I’ve heard of a few verified and true love stories where at least one of the couple declares this was their experience.

Still, I have a hard time buying the whole “fell in love with a woman from afar” narrative. I’ve experience lust, and I’ve experienced love, and only one of those can happen from afar after a mere glimpse.

Let’s get this show on the road

So, besides being a bit far-fetched as a narrative, everything took forever. In a musical, the songs are known for slowing down or stopping the action of the plot. When all you’ve got is dancing, it appears this effect is multiplied by ten.

As exciting as that plot point in the above section sounds, it also took nearly twenty minutes of dancing. Die Hard, this was not.

We like plots that move along at a little better pace. Think Moulin Rouge, Phantom of the Opera, or even The Sound of Music, for Pete’s sake! (In other words, ballet sets the bar for faster pacing pretty low.)

I get it. The so-called “storyline” is only an excuse to show off a lot of dancing (even if it was really good dancing). Because of this, the plot is extremely simple. But a bit more detail would be nice.

For instance, we are never told why von Rothbart feels the need to keep twenty-odd girls enslaved to him by a form-changing enchantment with no apparent purpose.

Maybe he just really likes white birds. Or maybe he was just a dirty old man who liked to watch them transform from swans to naked girls.

(Don’t worry, there was no nudity on the stage. But if this scenario were to really happen, I doubt the girls would transform fully clothed.)

That was a lucky break—for the writer

The only way the spell could be broken was if a young man makes a vow of undying love and faithfulness to the Queen of the Swans. And who is the first person the hormonal Prince Siegfried should light upon but she?

How convenient.

I guess I was hoping for a bit more conflict in this plot, but that was not to be.

Thank goodness Siegfried didn’t see one of the chorus girls first! (Although it might have made the plot more interesting.)

It did have its good points.

“Of all the ways to tell a story about swan-girls, a ballet is probably the most suitable medium to do it in. Watching eighteen beautiful girls in stiff white tutus prance around the stage in unison is really something to behold.”

Besides the great dancing, I would have to say that of all the ways to tell a story about swan-girls, a ballet is probably the most suitable medium to do it in. Watching eighteen beautiful girls in stiff white tutus prance around the stage in unison is really something to behold.

Also, absolutely everyone on stage has a really great arse. (Well, except maybe the Queen Mother.) You can easily tell, because ballet tights leave absolutely nothing to the imagination.

And, apart from the performance itself, any excuse to dress to the nines is a good one!

So, if you are more of a musical theatre buff like me, you might want to pull out The Swan Princess instead of subjecting yourself to the more costly and less-talkative Swan Lake.

Just sayin’.

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*2025-04-05: While editing this article and verifying the performance company, I found this article about the same performance that also held rather low opinions of it, despite the writer being someone who loves this particular ballet in general. This has made me rethink my position—maybe I’ll give the ballet another shot someday after all.