Chapter 2

Steph and Autumn glanced toward the door of the coffee shop to see Julien burst through the door in a flurry of snowflakes, followed by their mother and stepfather. The little boy barrelled toward Steph’s legs, the hard soles of his snow boots clacking against the tile floor as he ran. In his snowsuit and mittens and with his rosy pink cheeks and glittering brown eyes, he looked like a snow baby miniature.

“Auntieeee!” he cried, throwing his arms around her knees and nearly bowling her over.

Pushing aside her tension, Steph swung him up into her arms, gripping tightly to keep his over-padded, wriggly little body from slipping from her grasp as she planted a kiss on his pudgy cheek. She pushed his hood off his head, revealing a mop of fine dark brown hair sticking up in all directions from the static. “Hi, buddy. Did you have fun with Grandma and Grandpa today?”

“Uh-huh. We made weindeer cookies! An’ I bwought you an’ Mommy some. Gwandma has dem.”

“Grandma Jill’s shortbread?” Autumn asked their mother.

Angelica nodded with a wide grin as she moved toward the counter with a sealed semi-opaque white plastic tub with a red lid in her hands. The reusable container she set near the till held shapes that looked vaguely cookie-like.

Steph grinned at Julien. “Oo, Grandma Jill’s cookies are my favourite. I can’t wait to try them.”

She waggled her fingers against his ribs. Even though he could probably barely feel them through his winter gear, her nephew still rewarded her with an uproarious giggle and a squirm. His unhindered joy melted the last of the coldness that had clamped her heart, and she laughed along with him.

“No kiss for Mommy?” Autumn asked, planting a zerbert on her son’s chubby cheek and making him giggle even more.

“Mommy, stop,” he wheezed through his gasps.

“Yes, please,” added Steph, who’d been holding the squirming child with difficulty.

Autumn relented with a tweak of Julien’s nose. “That’s what you get for going to auntie first,” she whispered.

Julien wrinkled his nose, looking not the least bit sheepish.

“Who found the barrel of Christmas cheer and dumped it all over this place?” boomed Reuben Neufeld’s baritone.

Steph glanced up to see her stepfather taking in the Christmas decorations, an appreciative expression on his broad, friendly face.

“You girls did a stellar job,” he said, moving toward Autumn and encircling her in a bear hug. “You want to come and decorate the Ferryman next?”

Reuben released Autumn, then came over and side-squeezed Steph’s shoulders from the side opposite the little boy who still rested on her hip. Angelica was right behind him, ready for her turn.

“Hi, girls.” She hugged Autumn, then Stephanie, her hazel eyes crinkled from the affectionate smile she wore on her round, lovely face, which was framed by long, dark brown hair streaked with caramel that floated down her back beneath the cable-knit hat she slipped off her head. The highlights were preference instead of a bid to prolong the appearance of youth—at forty-seven, Angelica was the youngest grandmother Steph knew, with hardly any grey to cover. Angelica took off her coat and hung her winter clothes on the back of a chair.

“Down, auntie,” Julien said, bouncing his pointing finger toward the floor.

“Sure, bud, as soon as you say the magic word.” Steph raised her eyebrows.

“Pwease,” Julien added impatiently, already trying to wiggle out of her grasp.

Steph held back a grin. Relieved to let the heavy toddler go, she allowed him slide to the floor so he could run over to the cookie tub and carry it proudly to his mother. Autumn opened the container and oohed and aahed over the sugar cookies decorated with messy icing antlers and misaligned red gumdrop noses. She made a show of pulling one out, taking a bite, and exclaiming how delicious it was, much to Julien’s delight. He soon repeated the process with Steph, who managed to match her sister’s enthusiasm. The cookies were quite tasty, even if the decorations were a bit wonky, so it wasn’t hard.

“What happened to the doves you had on here last year?” Angelica asked, inspecting the Christmas tree.

“Jack Frost, I think,” Steph said.

Angelica gave her a quizzical look.

Autumn sighed. “All the boxes of decorations have water damage. We must have had a leak at the back of the storage room last spring and no one noticed.” A flash of sadness crossed her face, then faded as quickly as it had come. Since Denis had died, lots of things had gone unnoticed. Steph had been glad to see her sister coming back to her old self more and more in the past year, but it was no wonder a few things slipped through the cracks.

“The roof’s pretty bad, too,” Steph added while she snagged another cookie from the plastic tub.

Reuben nodded. “I’ll take a look at that leak later. We can’t let that go through another spring.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Autumn said, a relieved smile on her face. “I know you have a lot to do, but—”

“For Pete’s sake, m’girl, I ain’t gonna do it myself! I’ll call Derrick Butler—he did some great work for me at the Ferryman this summer. I’d rather spend that time on other things. Like my restaurant. And my grandson.”

He winked at Julien, who giggled before stuffing another bite of cookie in his face.

“Speaking of whom,” Autumn said, giving her son a chagrined look and closing the tub, “that’s the last cookie for you, mister. You’ll be bouncing off the walls all night, and what would Santa say about that?” She secreted the tub somewhere behind the counter.

At the mention of Derrick’s name, anxiety had seeped through Steph once more, and she slowly chewed her last bite. Derrick and his older brother, Noel, co-owned Butler Bros Construction, one of the highest-rated construction and repair companies in town. Noel Butler’s darkly handsome face smiling at her beneath the mistletoe in the middle of the dance floor flashed through her mind, and she scowled. That had been four years ago, and she’d long since realized that night hadn’t meant anything to him—he’d likely been caught up in the moment. That didn’t make the fact he’d ghosted her after that sting less, or the thought of seeing him again any less awkward. She’d known the guy since high school—she should have known better than to let down her guard with him.

Thankfully, despite how small this town was, encounters with him since that fateful night at the community Christmas party had been rare and brief. And she definitely hoped Derrick would be the one to fix the leak at Cool Beans.

Angelica walked around the tree, pursing her lips. “We’ll have to find more decorations than this. You both did a wonderful job with what you had, but it looks kind of . . .”

“Sad,” Reuben supplied, coming to stand beside his wife.

Angelica swatted his arm playfully.

Reuben chuckled. “It does, though. We had a few trees that looked like this back on the farm in the eighties, except without all those artificial branches to give it fullness. All you need is some of that tacky tinsel and some home-made construction paper chains and they would be a match.”

“Ugh. Tinsel.” Angelica shuddered.

Autumn smiled. “I have the paper chains on my tree at home—I made them for my first Christmas with Denis. But I know we need more decorations, Mom. And maybe a few plastic tubs to store them in, even though we’ll be fixing that leak soon. In this old building, we’re better off safe than sorry.”

Angelica’s face lit up. “Maybe we’ll find some decorations when we go to the Christmas Craft Fair.”

Stephanie blinked. The Peace Crossing Christmas Craft Fair was legendary. People travelled for hours from all over the region to get a start on their Christmas shopping at the event, which hosted some of the most unique crafts and gifts the Peace Country had to offer. But the last time Steph had gone, she’d been put in charge of making sure her two younger sisters didn’t get into any trouble. As far as she knew, Angelica hadn’t gone since then, either.

“You and Autumn are going to the craft fair this year?”

“Actually,” Angelica said, turning slowly toward Steph, “I was hoping all three of us could go. You know, have some girl time. We’re overdue.”

Reindeer cookies, the craft fair . . . When did Mom start celebrating Christmas again?

Autumn, she could understand. Denis’s family had had deeply ensconced Christmas traditions, and Autumn wasn’t the type to rock the boat too much. Besides, there was something to be said for providing a wonderful Christmas experience for Julien while he was young enough to believe in magic. But Angelica? After Melody had died, the darkness of northern winters had stretched long in their home, unbroken by mid-season lights and festivities—which was just how Stephanie had wanted it. Christmas had become a painful reminder of the scars they all carried. Why was Angelica suddenly resurrecting old traditions after all this time?

“I’d love to, Mom,” Autumn said.

“Can I go?” Julien begged. “Pweeease?”

Autumn ruffled his hair. “It would be pretty boring for you, squirt. Although . . .” She glanced at Steph, a troubled expression on her face. “If you’re both there, I won’t have a babysitter. Oh, gosh. Maybe he will have to come.”

“Nah,” said Reuben with a dismissive wave before Steph could interject. “He can come hang out with me. I’ll put him to work doing dishes at the restaurant.”

Julien wrinkled his nose. “I have to do dishes?”

“Sure,” Reuben said with a deadpan expression. “After that, I’ll have you clean out the storage room.”

Julien’s small forehead bunched in a worried frown.

Autumn laughed. “Grandpa’s kidding. I think.” She gave Reuben side-eye, and he betrayed his prank with a mischievous grin. Autumn chuckled. “Thanks, Dad. That would be great.”

“And since it’s on a Sunday, you won’t even have to worry about the shop,” Angelica added in a satisfied tone. “How about you, Steph? Do you want to join us?”

Stephanie’s neck stiffened. All her excuses had been erased for her. “Um, I don’t know. You know how I feel about Christmas . . .”

“Oh, come now,” Angelica said. “You helped decorate the coffee shop and didn’t melt into a puddle, and you’re going to the parade with all of us in an hour. I thought you’d finally gotten over all those hang-ups about Christmas.”

“I did those things because of the people involved, not because I’ve changed my mind about Christmas.” And there were some painful moments, thank you very much. But she kept that last bit to herself. She didn’t need to be snippy and bring down the mood any more than she already had.

“Well, isn’t going to the craft fair with me and your sister about the people too?” Angelica’s eyes glistened.

Steph swallowed. She knew she was being manipulated, but she could see Autumn over her mother’s shoulder, looking at her with a hopeful expression and mouthing Come.

“Yes, of course, Mom. I . . . I suppose I can go with you. I’ll just have to trade a shift with someone.”

Angelica’s face split in a grin, and she blinked away the moisture in her eyes. “Thanks, dear. I’m sure you’ll have a good time once you get there.”

Steph wasn’t so sure about that. Her envelope had already been pushed so far that she was feeling a little torn at the edges. This time of year had been nothing more than the anniversary that had ripped their family and her life apart for so long, she’d stopped believing it could be anything else. But her family obviously didn’t feel the same way, and she didn’t want to be left out of family events just because she was the only one who still couldn’t move on. Not that she thought they would leave her out. Would they?

For the first time, she felt like the lone grinch in the group. To cover her discomfort, she went to get a glass of water from behind the counter while Autumn talked to their mother and Reuben about her preparations for the cocoa-and-cookies event.

When the door chimed again, Steph turned in relief at the distraction from her circling thoughts. Caleb Toews held the door open for Delanie and his daughter, Emma. With the snowflakes caught in Caleb’s dark brown beard and dusting Delanie’s long golden locks and Emma’s dark brown braids beneath their warm winter beanies, they looked like a family from the poster of a Hallmark Christmas movie. The three of them blew into the shop in a flurry of snow, Delanie holding an insulated travel mug that probably contained one of Caleb’s homemade lattes. Steph supposed Delanie could be excused for bringing coffee to a coffee shop since her boyfriend made it—and since Cool Beans was technically closed right now.

“Guess what?” Emma said to the room at large. “Daddy and Delanie are engaged!”

Stephanie blinked. A glance at the consternation on Delanie’s face confirmed Emma’s news.

“Emma!” Delanie exclaimed, but her smile belied her tone. She pulled off her left glove, her gaze finding Steph’s as she came over to show off the glittering diamond on her ring finger. “I was going to tell you myself, but she’s just so excited. I made Caleb a surprise birthday supper, but he was the one who surprised me.”

Angelica hustled over to admire the ring and congratulate the happy couple, and Reuben clapped his hand into Caleb’s for a firm shake. Autumn’s smile and wishes were as warm and genuine as her heart, as always.

Stephanie forced a smile and murmured her congratulations, adding a suitable exclamation for the ring. It’s not that she wasn’t happy for them. After ten years apart, they deserved to find their happiness. She just wasn’t as expressive as Delanie. That was all.

Her phone buzzed in her back pocket, and she moved away from the exclaiming group to check the text. Kate Thomson from work needed someone to cover her shift for that night. Her babysitter had cancelled, and she had no one else to watch her three-year-old son, Tristan. Steph’s chest pinched with guilt. Normally, as the one person in the unit who didn’t care if she missed out on a single Christmas activity, she would be the one on shift tonight. By asking to have it off, she’d upset the balance. Yesterday, she’d overheard Kate mention how disappointed she was to not be able to take Tristan to the first Santa Claus Parade he was likely to remember. But Steph had already promised Delanie and Julien. She bit her lip. Maybe she could offer to babysit Tristan for the night . . .

Her mother’s voice floated into her consciousness, and heat rose through her chest.

“It’s about time you two got together,” Angelica gushed to Delanie. “Gives me hope for my girls. Autumn still needs time, of course, but Stephanie hasn’t been on a date for years—longer, if you don’t count that Noel fellow. I don’t suppose you have any eligible single friends, do you, Caleb?”

“Other than Noel?” Caleb chuckled nervously and glanced at Steph, rubbing his well-trimmed beard. “I don’t know, Mrs. Neufeld. If I was any sort of matchmaker, I’d have set my buddies up already. I’m just glad I finally found my own happily-ever-after. Second time’s the charm, I guess.”

“Or first time, depending on how you look at it,” Reuben said. “Stephanie told me you two were destined for each other since high school. When it’s right, it’s right.” He took Angelica’s hand. “And sometimes, you have to give it more than one go to find it.”

Angelica smiled warmly at her husband. But Stephanie’s heart thumped in her throat. All the anxiety and tension of the afternoon piled up on her at once, and her head swirled with thoughts of Melody and Eddie and Noel. She couldn’t do the parade, not after all this. She would only ruin it for everyone. Shooting a text to Kate that she would take the shift, Steph went to the table where she’d left her coat and purse.

Autumn noticed and followed her. “Where are you going?”

“I’m covering a shift at work. Last-minute babysitter emergency.” Steph adjusted her coat collar, then pulled on her toque—a chunky-knit cream hat with a faux-fur pompom—and hit the remote start on her key fob so her car would warm up.

Autumn frowned, then glanced at the happy, bubbling group still fawning over Delanie’s ring. She turned back to Steph with an understanding look. “I’ll tell them.”

Steph cast her sister a grateful smile. They didn’t agree on everything, but she could always count on Autumn to support her, no matter what. Steph didn’t know what she would do without her.

“Thanks, sis. See you tomorrow.”

And with that, she made her escape to the one place in her life where she felt safe, where everything was always unpredictably predictable—the Peace Crossing Hospital Emergency Ward.

No matter what surprises the rest of the night threw at her, she’d be prepared for them. Because that’s what she was trained to do.

My ghosts will simply have to call it a night.

Later, she would remember thinking that. If only her ghosts hadn’t had other ideas . . .

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