Yesterday, self-doubt kept wandering in and out of my mind with little regard to my attempts to block it. Just when I thought that I had put up enough signs, chains, and road-blocks that I could start focusing on something else, BAMMO! it was sneaking back in around the edges of my thoughts, interfering with my activities and making me question myself.

It all started at Jabin's six-month checkup. Dr. Strange, who has somehow magically morphed into Dr. Unger-the-not-so-strange-
since-I-see-him-every-week-to-get-my-warts-zapped-and-he-
goes-to-my church-to-boot, again politely addressed the topic of immunization. So nicely, though. He's really a very good doctor--methodical, wanting to make sure he doesn't forget to cover something, even though this is my third baby, and very gentle. Then, how he gently addressed the fact that "they" say you should not give your baby egg yolks until one year, but I could start cereals right away, after I told him that Jabin had been receiving an egg yolk a day for over a month now. (I lost my nerve and somehow "forgot" to mention that the formula he is now drinking is actually *gasp* home-made! From *whispers in case someone might be listening* raw milk!!)

He must think I'm pretty brazen--this young house-wife bucking the medical system and conventional knowledge and his advice based on 7 years of medical school to do this crazy, radical thing like feed my baby--and my family--traditional foods.

However, while most people would acknowledge that the changes we have made to our family's diet just seem to have a certain logic to them, even if they are not willing to make those changes themselves, there is such a stigma to what you CAN and CANNOT feed your baby. Also, as a good parent, who wants to mess up their precious baby's body in that vulnerable first year? So we do what the all-knowing "they" tells us is best--start feeding cereals between 4-6 months, then fruits and vegetables (but usually commercially-made ones, since that's just as good as home-made, right?), and using commercial baby formula, possibly even soy-based for the vegans among us. Meats and eggs, and other animal protein foods, are the last to be given.

Alas, I have discovered, like in so many other areas, the scientific evidence has been slanted by a media that does not get its facts straight, and food processing companies and baby food manufacturers that do not make any profit from moms who want to feed their babies healthful, whole foods that they make at home.

However, although I knew all this, my self-confidence was shaken yesterday in the face of all of my doctor's qualifications. If only I knew of other babies who had successfully followed this feeding program. If only I could tell him in cohesive but provable terms why we do not vaccinate our children.

So last night, long after I should have gone to bed, I started poking around on the internet, peeking into different things, especially the corners of the Weston A. Price Foundation site, which I have not had a huge amount of time to explore up until now. The WAPF was started by Sally Fallon, one of the co-authors of Nourishing Traditions, the nutritional cookbook I use every day. This is the cookbook I had taken my baby-feeding information from.

And I found exactly what I was looking for. A gallery of photos and testimonials of healthy, happy babies that had been raised using the same principles my family now adheres to. Not only that, I found two other articles that I intend to print off and present to my doctor as reading material about what the REAL scientific evidence says about what babies thrive on, and also the dangers of vaccination.

Even though I had not formed my naggling thoughts into any specific prayer for assistance, Father God looked down on His child and confirmed that just because I may be a radical, politically incorrect by the standards of the Enlightened era in which I live, that does not mean I am wrong.

He re-affirmed to me that He designed our bodies, and the food for us to eat, and neither of those things has changed in all the millenia we have been in existence on this planet. We have not evolved into creatures that subsist better on man-made cocktails than the whole foods He created for us to consume since the beginning of time.

He reminded me that more often than not, following His plan DOES label one as a radical. And I am in good company.

So although I am sure there will always be days when it's hard (explaining to my pre-schooler for the umpteenth time in the grocery store line that no I will NOT buy him any candy), I guess being radical is okay.

So then, I went to bed.